One of the things she and I spoke about was God’s presence in these times. It is so difficult to know and feel God’s presence sometimes. There seems to be no shortage of bad news around us. I often wonder just how much more bad news and pandemic isolation any of us can take. However, it never fails, that when I start to go into those dark places, somehow God reaches out to me in ways that are hard to miss; which is good, because I can be rather dense. This week’s readings are just such a time of reaching out.
Psalm 139 has always been my favorite. It is both comforting and challenging. I was abandoned as a small child, and belonging somewhere or to someone has always been part of my spiritual life. When I found the Episcopal church and it’s focus on God becoming human in Jesus, I knew that I finally belonged somewhere. When I read psalm 139, I began to know that no matter what human beings said or did in my life, or in the lives of others, that God loved all of us that he created; our lives matter to God, not just in the afterlife of heaven and resurrection, but also in the here and now. God loves and knows each and every one of us better than we can possibly know ourselves.
What we hear this morning is that Jesus knows Nathaniel. Nathaniel, for his part, is very impressed with this skill, and recognizes that Jesus is the Son of God, king of Israel. Jesus tells him, maybe even warns him that this is just the beginning. He will see greater things. He will see harder things. What Nathaniel doesn’t know is that his own ability to see Jesus will be challenged. Seeing is important in John’s gospel. Often those who cannot physically see, can see things about Jesus that others can not. And for us, Epiphany is a season where we are asked to see and to contemplate who Jesus is. These weeks will challenge us to see and experience that Jesus does the same things that God does in the Scriptures. In Jesus’ knowing of Nathaniel, our readings today ask us to harken back to psalm 139 where God has known Nathaniel and each of us since before our birth. It is to God that you and I belong above all others. It is God who knows us in ways that we cannot even imagine. And just when we think we are alone, or that we can run from God, God shows up. God showed up in the life of Jesus, and continues to show up in the living, breathing Holy Spirit that has been given to each of us… even in the darkest hours when we cannot feel his presence, he is there. He is there from the beginning of our lives until the end when we are joined with him. It’s a pretty incredible story that we are a part of. And my prayer for all of us is that we remember to whom we belong, because I have a feeling that we will continue to be challenged in some difficult ways.
As I continued to text with my friend, I went to the car to grab some dinner for my family, and I turned on my car stereo, and I song came on from the station that amazon music put together with songs they think I will like based on my previous listening. I share with you now this song, which I have listened to a lot over the years. Last night, it reminded me of the goodness of Jesus above all things. I shared it with my friend, hoping she would know of God’s love and presence in her life as she grieves. I hope it reminds all of us, that we are good, we are loved, and we are God’s.
We are standing in between
Hope and despair
Believing in Your grace
And the faith to declare
You are with us
Hallelujah
Hallelujah, You are good
In the ashes and the dust
The sorrow and pain
Lies the promise of Your Word
And the power of Your Name
You are with us
Hallelujah
Hallelujah, You are good
And when faith give way to fear
I will trust Your heart, I will trust Your heart
When I cannot feel You near
I will trust Your heart, I will trust Your heart
There’s a message being written
With the morning sun
And a new song for the broken
Death is lost, love is won
You are with us
Hallelujah
Hallelujah, You are good
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, You are good
Hallelujah (I have tasted)
Hallelujah (I have seen it)
Hallelujah, You are good
Hallelujah (I remember)
Hallelujah (I believe it)
Hallelujah, You are good
You are with us
Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Hallelujah, You are good