A friend of mine and I were talking one day about why she sat in the back of the church every Sunday. She said that for her, the walk to the altar rail was important because she felt as though coming to the rail was a spiritual jouney.
I thought more about what she said… and I realized that she was right… I realized that I had a very special place from which to observe that journey for people, both physically and spiritually. I could see people actually making their way to the rail, but I also have a special place of privilege that allows me to know something of the spiritual journey that brings people to the rail to begin with… there was the young woman battling crippling depression, the husband and wife who had been married for decades who had only a limited amount of time left together due to her cancer, the brother and sister who were too young to realize what it meant that their parents we about to divorce, the young couple happily looking forward to their upcoming wedding… all sorts of people, young and old who all have stories to tell, who all have hopes and fears and joys to share… all of whom come to the many altar rails that I have served… When Danny was finally walking sometime after he turned two and a half, I sent my friend a one line email that read, “Danny walked to communion today…” I have no doubt that she was aware of both the joy and the weight of that fact, and how long we had waited for it to happen.
Jesus said, “I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” Seems like someone is trying to tell us something; once again we’re being reminded about Jesus being the bread of life, the bread of heaven that gives life to the world… apparently it is something we need to hear… something I certainly need to hear… those who first heard these words were shocked by them… flesh? His flesh? How are we supposed to eat his flesh? What is he talking about?
All good questions; ones that we have been trying to answer since it was first asked; and perhaps at some level it’s our life’s work to try and answer the question…
In the Episcopal church there are probably as many theories about Eucharist, or Holy Communion as there are Episcopalians… and that’s a good thing; because the truth of Eucharist is so vast that I think it’s impossible to limit it… what Episcopalians do say about Eucharist is that Jesus is “truly present” in the Eucharist… great answer, don’t you think? As always, the Episcopal Church is answering a question without being direct. Much like scripture, the Eucharist is continually revealing Truth to us; it is continually helping us to find and to know Jesus; I also believe it helps us to find ourselves…
This holy bread is truly life giving to us… There was a time in my own life when I thought that one had to be ready in order to receive Eucharist… that somehow I had to be purer of thought and action before I could come to the altar to receive Jesus in my hands and into my body. Over time and over many walks to the altar rail, I have come to see Eucharist as a gift given to those who are not ready; really, there is no sense that we can be ready, or that we can understand everything that happens when we come forward to receive; but rather, it is place where we come to be healed, where we come to have our sins forgiven, where we are not ready or worthy, but by the gift given in the body of Jesus in this holy bread, we are made ready; we are made worthy…. it is a continual reminder for us that life is not easy, that we will always make mistakes and disappoint those whom we love; but it is also a reminder that we give thanks to God for the gift of our lives and the gift of Jesus; that God is the great creator and lover of all that is; it is a reminder that our very wholeness depends upon and is given in Jesus. We come forward in our brokenness, in our sickness, in our separation from God and from each other; and in the taking in of this bread from heaven, we are made new, we are healed, we are reconciled to God and to each other, we are forgiven…as the old saying goes, communion is NOT a reward for the good, but rather medicine for the sick.
This table, this gathering place where we receive this bread from heaven, is for us, where our worship becomes a concrete reality; no matter who we are, where we come from, how much money we make, who we vote for… all of those issues in life that separate us, that give us reasons to argue and hate, all of those barriers disappear at this table; we are joined with those who have come before us; time becomes God’s time, and we join with the heavenly chorus, praising God and for those precious minutes we praise God, we give thanks, we hear the stories of our corporate history… and we come together as equals… this banquet is a foretaste of the great banquet that awaits us when we gather at God’s table with the communion of saints and sinners who we long to be with again…
Come to the feast…. saints and sinners, come… bring your brokenness, bring your hopes, bring what hurts you… know that you cannot be ready, except to come and be made ready by Jesus who is the bread that has come down from heaven and who is the life of the world… your life, my life, the life of those we love as well as the life of those we do not love… come and be made whole…